Here I am again… Up late… Wishing things were, well, better.
I’m caught up in memories again. Missing the person I first met. I smirk a little as I write this, even browse a couple photos, as so I don’t forget who I feel for, because at least that loving person didn’t change.
I don’t do the things I do, say the things I say, or keep my promises that I made you to “win you back”. I do it to show you that someone can actually love you unconditionally, from a distance, & be content.
It hurts. Oh like hell, it hurts. As a man, I’ve even cried (once).
You left when it got thick and I’ll never understand why. I’ll never understand what drove you away, & I’ll never understand how someone that had a fighter, didn’t even try to fight back.
I know you’ve been dealing with a bunch on your plate, & as strong you are, you still smile. Hide all emotions. I do that too. *smirks*
Sometimes I want to call you in the middle of the night just to make sure you’re okay. To make sure you know someone love you. To make sure you know that I’m always there, when times get dark and no ones around, I’m always there at anytime, regardless.
I’d do anything to get even a small piece of that back.
I call her “chocolate”, I love her unconditionally, she has the biggest, brightest smile, that it’d make you happy. She has the biggest heart. She’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. Her character and personality forces you to pay attention. She’s smart. And if you’ve ever met her, then you’re one lucky person. If you’ve ever lost her, you’d have to be the biggest fucking idiot ever.
These words are what helped me find myself when I was lost, before I lost myself again with someone new.
These are just a bunch of words, thrown together horribly, but they are filled with so much meaning behind them and eventually I will get them out in a better way.I should’ve told her everything while she was still listening.
Then I wouldnt be somewhere, asking and wishing I had asked her “So, how do you like your coffee?”
we all know that one person you get sexually frustrated just looking at